Ever since Dustine selfishly came down with cancer, I’ve been running this beershow all by my lonesome. This has exhausted the limits of my limp, shitty writing process, which consists of stealing jokes from Laffy Taffy wrappers and coming up with new ways of turning “fuck” into a compound word. It’s okay to apply this process to beer a couple-three times a week. Much more than that, though, and all the bland adjectives run together, and my utter lack of brewing knowledge becomes apparent.

There’s a fine line between running a beer blog and crying desperately for help, is what I’m getting at, and that dumb, cancer-having fuck has exposed that connection.

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Here is a beer. It was a good beer. Some people are shitting themselves over it but I don’t think it’s quite so fuck-worthy because the back end is thick and syrupy and the balance is overall off. This is what nearly all double IPAs tasted like until a couple of years ago, and so maybe now it seems like a novelty? I dunno.

risgoop

What kind of beer has no teeth? A gummy beer! Ack—fucksticks. Laffy Taffy failed me again. That didn’t make any sense.

Uhh, this was better than the Stone one. Every one of the FFF-Mikkeller “goop” series has been fantastic and underrated. It’s basically an imperial IPA with a shitload of rice adjunct added to it. The effect is aggressively hoppy with a pleasant middle of bread and grass and a long, lingering honey finish. My girlfriend claimed it was the first time in her life she had enjoyed the taste of honey, so it must have been done really well.

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